Inktober day 31: mask

The Inktober challenge has come to an end! I’m glad I participated in this challenge. It has helped me to be more disciplined with drawing. I’m nowhere near the artists I admire but I will keep dabbling with art and to believe in my creativity.

Some few thoughts I gathered over the month:

The last inktober challenge is mask. It’s funny because I stopped participating in any art after painting a mask project in 8th grade. Our assignment was to paint over a drama mask with a hint of ourselves and our favorite artist. I picked Georgia O’Keeffe since she was my favorite painter at the time. I painted my mask with flowers with a black background. I thought it was beautiful but received a B+. I asked my art teacher why I was graded a B+ and her response was, “it doesn’t represent Georgia O’Keeffe.” I didn’t understand. I incorporated the flowers that O’Keeffe painted into the mask. It didn’t make any sense because I hit all of the project requirements. I felt rejected and stopped taking art classes.

About a few months ago I started feeling dull. I just couldn’t imagine not having any creative ownership in my life. I wanted something beautiful to look. I didn’t care if anyone paid attention to it. I just want to feel alive. So…I started drawing again. I picked up exactly where I left off at the age of 13. I’m still bad at art but I’m just happy to be doodling and drawing crappy figures for myself.

In retrospect, I don’t blame my art teacher. I blamed me for not believing in myself. I think I’ve held on to that excuse for a very long time and I would like to stop it. It’s true, we are our own worse critics but we must learn to be gentle and believe in ourselves. Here’s to more happy doodling.